A&A Ep. 102
===
Karrie: [00:00:00] Welcome to Awakened and Alive After 40.
Dominique: If you're searching for inspiring and easy to apply Enneagram and Human Design content, then you've come to the right place. We're your hosts, Dominique
Karrie: and Karrie, two friends and coaches who are passionate about sharing our knowledge and insights on these two powerful self awareness systems to help you step outside the box and into a life that is true to who you really are.
Dominique: We're so grateful to have you here. Let's jump into today's episode.
Karrie: Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Awakend and Alive podcast. We are so appreciative to have you here, and Dominique and I have been chuckling to ourselves before we started this recording because we already recorded this episode one time a couple weeks ago, but we had some audio difficulty. And [00:01:00] the funny thing about that is, is it's the first time in over a hundred episodes we ever had any kind of glitch like that happen. Ironically, this episode is the first time we've ever just off the cuff talked with no outline, no preparation, no planning of the topic because we were just in a really great conversation about life and where we were at and how we were feeling and we were being really honest and really open with each other because both of us have been struggling a bit for the past month or so, and we really wanted to share that with everyone. So we're hoping to redo it today. We just felt it was really important to be transparent and honest with our listeners about this, because it's important to know everyone goes through these periods and everyone has more difficult seasons of life where things might not be going exactly how you planned or how you envisioned and just knowing that [00:02:00] other people are going through it can sometimes make it feel a little bit less lonely.
Dominique: Yeah, especially when we come out and we're talking to you guys about all these beautiful tools that we use for self-improvement and sometimes you just don't know what is real and what is fake when you're looking at social media as well. Like Karrie said, we're human beings and we are all going to have our highs and lows. And even if we're on here talking about the beauty of the Enneagram and Human Design, right now I'm coming to you as one bitter-ass Projector, and it's something that I've talked about before, how bitterness is an emotional theme for Projectors that will cue you in to when you're living out of alignment or when you are not living true to yourself. I will be honest, the past couple of months, I've been bitter AF, primarily, because I've [00:03:00] had to go back into working full time in the healthcare field. I spent a big chunk of my time and energy over the years building my business so that I could shift away from the healthcare field and into more freedom and autonomy and independence with my own business. And now it's shifting in a different direction. I could sit here and complain and whine and bitch and moan, which I would love to do, but nobody wants to hear that. But I think it's important for us to share no matter where we're at in our abilities as coaches, as entrepreneurs, as professionals, there's going to be again, those highs and lows, you're going to fall back, you're going to move forward. And Karrie and I are experiencing some of these ups and downs right now.
Karrie: Yeah, same. Everything you were saying I resonated with. I feel like we can also get into the comparison game because so many times I'm like, my situation isn't as stressful as [00:04:00] Dominique's, so I shouldn't complain. I should hold space for her to be able to complain, because like Dominique, I also need to go back into working in a way, I don't want to work. I'm just going to be working part time in retail because I cannot fully go back into my former profession, which was education. It gives me so much anxiety to even think about doing that, I have not even considered it, even though I would make a lot more money and have a lot more financial stability if I went that direction. So far, it hasn't gotten to that point for me, but I am going back to working and I'm really nervous of where's this time and where's this energy going to come from? Because my weeks are already very full with running my business, doing all the things that Dominique and I collaborate on for the podcast and other plans we're doing, as well as just my own wellness, my own learning, I'm taking a course right now. I'm sure everyone can relate that there just are not enough hours in the day. For those of us who aren't sacral beings, [00:05:00] Projectors, Manifestors, Reflectors especially can really relate to this idea of like, I am going to burn out. I'm not gonna have enough energy for all this.
Dominique: Yeah. Yeah. And that's been my thing is we were talking before we started recording about PTSD from burning out in the healthcare field. Even though I'm in a different situation, because I am in a new company as well, and the workflow is very different, a little bit more gentle actually. However, the whole thought of full time is creating this PTSD within my system where I'm like, Oh my God, I can't go back there. So I, in some ways, am making it worse on myself because I'm fighting this as well. I had a beautiful call last week with my coach, and she asked me this simple question of, are you allowing your current space to hold you in the way you need it? I was sitting there, I was like, no, [00:06:00] I am fighting everything about where I'm at. So when we look at what's going on in our lives, and no matter how much we dislike where we're at, there has to be some sort of acceptance and some surrender at the same time in order to shift out of it in a healthy way. Now I do understand that not everybody has the ability to do that because situations are so very different all throughout the world right now. I have to say I am very blessed and grateful that I am able to work full time. By no means do I want this to sound like I just want to bitch and complain and have zero gratitude for it. I think this can probably resonate with people who consider themselves healers, light workers, those who feel this deep purpose to spread more love and compassion throughout the world. And that's kind of where I identify [00:07:00] myself right now. When I feel I'm losing that, that's when I can start to fall into that deeper place of bitterness. What my goal is for myself right now, and all of the things I've learned in my education and coaching and nervous system regulation, is trying right now to allow myself to be where I'm at, to allow myself to rest in this space of comfort because I am making money full time. I am able to take a little bit of rest because I'm feeling more held in that space, even though it's not where I would like to be right now. It's hard though.
Karrie: Yeah, and I think something that we have both talked about, and it's important for all of us to remember, once we all start learning these supportive modalities, whether it's the Enneagram, Human Design, if you go to hypnotherapy, if you do any kind of [00:08:00] inner work, we can sometimes think I have this support system, so I'm never going to feel off again, or I'm never going to feel out of alignment, or I'm never going to feel my not self theme because I'll recognize it right away. Well, it's like Dominique always says, we are human. We are going to have periods of low times. We're going to have ups and downs and having these systems or frameworks to put meaning to it or to understand it better has made it not necessarily easier to get through, but at least it gives it a narrative and it gives it a way to understand, Oh, I can understand and see why this is happening in my life. I can recognize it, and now I even have some tools, how to sit with it or move through it or whatever is the best way to get through it. And sometimes getting through it isn't what's meant to happen. Sometimes whatever we're experiencing is really there to teach us something, and we really need to sit [00:09:00] with the lesson before we try to ignore it or rush it or whatever.
Dominique: Yeah, exactly. Kind of like when I was thinking of myself trying to fight where I'm at right now. Well, there's going to be beautiful lessons with the space that I'm sitting in right now, but I won't learn those lessons if I am constantly trying to fight my way out and get back to where I was. We only know what we know. We don't know what we don't know. I don't know what could be better for me if I allow myself to learn the lessons that I am here to learn right now at this time. And I think anything that allows us to to have better self knowledge, and this is why we love these systems so much that we talk about, it gives you more choice. It gives you more freedom when you better understand the experiences that are coming up for you within your body as well as externally. When I learned about bitterness, I was like, oh, okay, great. So now I've got that cue for when I'm off track, but [00:10:00] that doesn't mean I'm supposed to avoid it at all costs. It's not anything I need to get rid of, kind of like with fear and anxiety. It's not something to get rid of. It's there to cue you in on something. It's there to tell you something needs attention, and that's what I love so much about Human Design. We were talking earlier, Karrie, about the emotional wave and your emotional wave and your authority and what's coming up for you right now. When we talk about follow your strategy, follow your authority and you will be guiding yourself in the right direction, this is another space where, ehh, it's not always 100 percent available or we're not capable of doing that at all times. Sometimes we have to go against it, temporarily. But I'm curious, what came up for you as you were trying to make this decision and sitting with your own authority?
Karrie: In Human Design, the [00:11:00] biggest lesson or rule or part of the experiment is strategy and authority is the one thing or the two things to really ground into. Like if you don't follow any other piece of your design, these are the two pieces that can really, they're actionable and you can see results and change your life. So I really tried to start doing that in my own experiment and really following my strategy, which for Projectors is wait for recognition or an invitation. And my authority, like Dominique said, is emotional, so that is a authority where when you make a decision, you're really supposed to sit with the decision and see how it feels throughout your emotional wave and not rush into decisions. And I knew, I mean, I knew through this decision of whether or not to start working part time outside of my own business, I knew I didn't want to do that. Like I, I know my strategy, I was not invited to this at all. Throughout my emotional wave, I have felt like I don't want to do this, but, and I feel like a huge [00:12:00] hypocrite, I told Dominique earlier this same thing. I feel like such a hypocrite taking this job because I need more financial stability, and I know it's going against my strategy and authority. So how do you live with that? How do you know it's not right and you still do it? It's something I've been struggling with, and when you are someone who wants to teach Human Design and give readings,
Dominique: Mmm-hmm, yeah..
Karrie: And you feel like, I'm not even living my strategy and authority, you start having major imposter syndrome.
Dominique: Yeah. And for me, when I was first starting off with learning about strategy and authority, my mentor, Karen Curry Parker, would specifically speak to the Projectors and tell her Projectors like, look, I know you are struggling to move through this burnout, to find the thing that lights you up, that fills your purpose. But sometimes we have to do that J O B that just pays the bills and allow it [00:13:00] to do just that and take the time outside of our J O B and rest. Because without that rest and without that energy, we are going to be putting off the energy of bitterness, of burnout, of fatigue. Sometimes it's doing the thing that we don't want to do, but you know what, it pays the bills, so that allows us a whole lot of freedom from one area, and opens up some energy for us as well through that support, and then learn the lessons that need to be learned during that time in order to build upon there, in order to regain the strength and energy that we are looking for in our work that we do as human beings, not even just as Projectors, as human beings. Especially again, if you're someone who just feels this deep purpose of making this place a better place to live for all.
Karrie: And one last thing that we wanted to touch on in this [00:14:00] episode that we haven't talked about in quite a while, and maybe some people out there are scratching their heads because we talked about it at the beginning of 2024, and that is that Dominique and I have plans, have a dream to start an online community membership platform. We announced it at the beginning of this year, because we really with our whole hearts believed it would happen this year. And then, life took some interesting turns for both of us, and it just hasn't fully happened. We are still always talking about it, doing things behind the scenes. It's still something we really want to do because it feels really right to us, and we have a lot of excitement around it. But as everyone knows who tunes in, we have not launched that and don't have any plans to launch it for 2024. And we probably won't even put any date on it, honestly, because we learned that lesson, that you can't predict what's going to [00:15:00] happen and what might change future plans.
Dominique: Yeah. And I think just overall, because we are in such a time right now where there's so much uncertainty, that we really have to be better with giving compassion and grace to ourselves. For me, I've noticed when I can more easily give that to myself, then I am so much more capable of giving that to others, kind of like the whole fill your cup first or put your mask on first. It really is a big part of what is going to keep us moving forward and creating a world of greater love and connection with each other. So give yourself some grace. Be compassionate and keep building on the dreams that you have.
Karrie: Thank you for listening to this episode. Your support is so appreciated. [00:16:00]
Dominique: If you'd like to have a question answered about your Human Design or Enneagram type in a future episode, you can submit it through the link in the show notes. We'd love to hear from you.
