A&A Ep. 84
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Karrie: [00:00:00] Welcome to Awakened and Alive After 40.
Dominique: If you're searching for inspiring and easy to apply Enneagram and Human Design content, then you've come to the right place. We're your hosts, Dominique
Karrie: and Karrie, two friends and coaches who are passionate about sharing our knowledge and insights on these two powerful self awareness systems to help you step outside the box and into a life that is true to who you really are.
Dominique: We're so grateful to have you here. Let's jump into today's episode. Hey friends, welcome back to Awakened and Alive After 40, or welcome if this is your first time joining us. We are so grateful to have you here. Today's conversation is going to be all about navigating a funk. I don't know what it is about funks, but it's something that used to frustrate the hell out of me [00:01:00] when I would be in one and not know what the reason was, and also how to get out of it, or maybe just how to be okay with being in a funk every now and then. It's one of these areas that it's great to be able to identify, of course, for our own self knowledge, but at times sometimes our body's just telling us that we just need to take a beat and allow ourselves to slow down. So we're going to just have some conversation about some ways that being in a funk might come up for you or what it might feel like or look like, and then give you some tips on how you might better navigate the times when you are in a funk. So Karrie, when's the last time you were in a funk? I know mine was pretty recent.
Karrie: Oh yeah. Yeah, definitely. I get in a lot of funks, and I think the crazy energies that were happening during April with the full eclipse and [00:02:00] all of the different things happening astrologically and the solar flares, like all of this stuff can just make you feel off and you might not even know that is making you feel off. But I would say I get in a funk at least once a week. And I don't know if it has to do with my defined emotional center compared to you having an open one because sometimes I just wake up in a funk, and I think there's no reason for this, like I have everything to be grateful for, my life is really great. Learning not to analyze it too much has been key though.
Dominique: Yeah, I do think that there certainly is a little bit of a difference with defined or open emotional solar plexus. Because one of the big things we talk about in Human Design, if you have a defined emotional solar plexus is to not judge what is coming up for you. That's a part of your creative side, and it's something that the less you resist it or judge it, the more easily you can work through it and come out with a lot of [00:03:00] beautiful, creative energy from it. That's when you think of all of the artists and musicians and writers out there, they create outrageously beautiful art and everything else from those periods of being in funks or melancholy or whatever it might be.
Karrie: When we talk about being in a funk, for me, what that looks like or what that could mean is like, if you feel more irritable or just like something is off in your life, maybe your anxiety or worry is a little bit higher, but this is normal. We are human. We're going to experience these ups and downs and it's part of life.
Dominique: . Whenever I think of being in a funk, I always have to tie in the nervous system. For me, this is just a hot area that has changed my life and the lives of many of the clients that I've worked with in the past. When I look at why I might be feeling a certain way, and what that actually is, a lot of the times it comes up for [00:04:00] me as wanting to be alone or being in that hermit mode. So that signals to me that I'm maybe stuck in a dorsal state within my nervous system, which also can feel like apathy and hopelessness or just extreme fatigue and fogginess. This is all in that dorsal state, which is our body's way of shutting down to preserve. energy. I also in the past have dealt with a lot of nervous energy and anxious thoughts that I had no clue where this was coming from. Excessive worry, when I didn't seem to have much stress going on at the time, it would come up for me. And that was, me in my sympathetic state. When I came to understand the nervous system and also used the feelings wheel, which if you just Google feelings wheel, this beautiful wheel comes up with all the words you can think of to identify a lot of the [00:05:00] states of feelings and emotions that we have, because sometimes it's hard to identify it. With me coming from a place of dissociation for most of my life, I could not figure out what I was feeling. Using the feelings wheel really helps me to identify what it was, because in order for us to change anything we need to know first what it is that we're feeling and to know that it's completely normal. There doesn't have to be a reason for why you're feeling a certain way or like you're in a funk.
Karrie: Yeah. And learning how to spot these times and like you said, maybe look at the feelings wheel, it helps us decode what is happening in our body, and it allows our minds to make a little more sense of it, which generally makes us feel better because we tend to over rely on our minds so much so anytime we can ease them, it's a good thing for us. That can be key. On today's episode, we really wanted to touch [00:06:00] on how using or understanding about your Human Design chart, as well as your Enneagram type can really be key and give some really important information to help navigate understanding a funk and recognizing when you're in a funk and how to get out of it. So Dominique, how can we use Human Design?
Dominique: So when it comes to Human Design, there's something called the not-self, and this is your signal. It's a feeling that will come up for you when you're living out of alignment, when you are off track in some way. That could be because you're pushing yourself too hard and you're depleting yourself of energy or you're saying yes to all the things and not allowing yourself any breathing room when you should be saying no more often. So we've talked a little bit about how for us as Projectors, Karrie, that our signal is bitterness. And I don't know about you, but anytime bitterness comes up for me, [00:07:00] I now just have this quick, little light bulb in my head that comes up and says, wait a minute, okay, there's bitterness. What is happening? What am I not seeing or ignoring to really give me more insight into why I might be feeling like I am getting into a funk or how I can stop myself from getting into a funk. When it comes to the other energy types, so the Projector is one of five, you have Manifester. For them, their sign is anger. You have the Manifesting Generator. Their sign is anger or frustration. You have Generator, their sign is frustration, and then you have Reflector with their sign being disappointment. And so by knowing the sign, that not-self, then this can give you great insight into just knowing like, hey, I want to get back on track here. I don't want to be feeling this [00:08:00] bitterness or this frustration. What's happening in my life right now that I may just be putting the blinders up against, or that could just use a tiny little shift to bring me back into that place of joy, connection, satisfaction, success. It's a beautiful tool in Human Design to just give us more insight into when we might need to shift ourselves or our lives or our actions.
Karrie: It's one of the pieces of Human Design that has been really eyeopening for me in understanding myself. And it's one of the easier ones to grasp because if you know your energy type and then you just know the not-self theme, you can start recognizing it and analyzing it in a way. Why is this popping up for me? What track did I get off on in this area? And bitterness wasn't something I regularly recognized in myself until I understood more about Human Design. It has been really educational [00:09:00] and really eye opening for me during many instances of my life for the past, I would say at least year, maybe a little over a year when I've really been paying attention to it.
Dominique: Yeah, that's beautiful. I think if you want to share an example, I'll share an example of how bitterness kind of showed up for me and gave me that insight into a funk is in the past when I was at work and just trying to do all the things, trying to prove myself, my value, my worth, even though I was recognized for being a great employee, being a great therapist, I just kept pushing, pushing, pushing, and then for a few weeks, I was feeling a lot of bitterness, a lot of resentment coming up. And then I started to look at that a little bit more deeply, and that's because I was crossing my own boundaries around work, and when I would start and stop work. Because I was in this funk and feeling exhausted [00:10:00] and just at the time was like, I don't know why I'm feeling like this, had I known then about the signal of bitterness, because this was before I really dove headfirst into Human Design, that would have really been helpful for me to break that pattern more easily, more quickly by just having that insight and knowing like, Oh, wait, okay, let me look at what I might be ignoring. And it was my boundaries that I had created for myself.
Karrie: I am getting chills. I am getting chills right now because you know we get excited when Human Design and the Enneagram
Dominique: Uh oh, what are you going to bring?
Karrie: layer onto each other to give us even deeper insight, because one of the pieces I was going to talk about today within the Enneagram system is called the Wake Up Calls. And so for each of the nine types there's a unique wake up call that when you notice yourself doing this, you are headed toward a [00:11:00] less healthy Level of Development. For your type, Dominique, Type 9, the Wake Up Call is outwardly accommodating yourself to others.
Dominique: Get out!
Karrie: What you just talked about and the boundary, and I was going to give my example of experiencing bitterness which directly correlates to my Enneagram type's Wake Up Call. I am Enneagram Type 1 and the Wake Up Call for my type is feeling a sense of personal obligation to fix everything myself. So like, if I see someone doing something the wrong way, or I have to do everything to get it right, or to have it done well, and I feel a ton of bitterness around that, and so recognizing the bitterness and then figuring out, oh, this is what I'm doing. This is why I'm feeling that way, because I'm headed toward a less healthy path within who I truly am.
Dominique: Oh my gosh. I love that so much. And you and I did not talk about this.
Karrie: No, this was not [00:12:00] planned. We hadn't even talked about the different pieces we were going to bring to this episode from the two different frameworks.
Dominique: Yeah, absolutely. And one thing that I do want to mention too, being in a funk, for me, and I'm sure for other listeners out there, when I've been in a funk, I wanted to really just put the blame on everything else but myself and my own actions. And I've come to understand that the only thing we do have control over is what we want to think and believe and how we want to act and respond. When I really sit with the bitterness when it comes up for me, I now pull that into what am I not honoring within myself that could be leading to this sign of bitterness? From there, that not only, of course, puts it on myself, which can be scary, like, Oh, this is my responsibility, but it gives you your power back, and it gives you a sense of control in a lot of ways because you [00:13:00] can control it. You can take a look and be like, all right, what needs to change? What do I need to start saying no to more often? What do I need to start doing in this case in order to feel confident and successful in my decision? So it's one of those things where we can often just kind of get in that, Oh, this person really upset me and now I'm in a bad mood. Trust me, I have been there many times when I have said that and believed it. But in reality, it comes down to we do have to own our own shit. And sometimes that means looking at those parts, and other times it means you're in a funk because you're in a funk. You don't have to have a reason. If you are sitting there and you're trying to figure it out, sometimes that makes it a little worse. So, first just identifying what do you feel? What's coming up for you? Okay, how can you move from that feeling to feeling more connected, present, [00:14:00] joyful, at ease? And just focusing on that more so on the why a lot of the times.
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Karrie: Exactly. Another helpful thing, if you do know your Enneagram type, and maybe a funk for you looks like taking on those traits of your stress path. So each Enneagram type has a type they can start to look a little more like. They don't become a new type, but they might look a little more like a certain type when they're in stress versus when they're in health. So if you notice yourself [00:15:00] taking on these stress path characteristics or behaving a little bit differently than your norm, looking to your growth path arrow is what it's called. So the arrow of your growth path can really help maybe just give some ideas of like, how could I maybe try to take control to get out of this funk? Like we said, it's fine to just sit in the funk and let the emotions move through you. It's probably the healthiest option. But if you're a person who's really wanting to take action or try to take control and get yourself out of the funk in a more productive way, then it can be helpful to have a little guide to look towards. So using Dominique's example, Type 9 goes more towards Type 6 when they're in stress. So that might look like her feeling more anxious and worried, predicting worst case scenarios, more irritable, black and white thinking, which is not the norm for Type 9s. So for her her growth path is Type 3. That would look like being [00:16:00] more confident, being more assertive and setting those boundaries and voicing her needs and voicing her opinion, in a healthy way, not in a destructive type way or anything like that. That's just another tip in order to maybe shift something within yourself. If you do know your Enneagram type, the arrows can be another really helpful way to recognize that funk and then look toward the growth path to get out of the funk.
Dominique: Oh, I love that because I never really put that together as far as the context that we're talking about. And as you were talking about the 3, I was like, yes, that's exactly what I've been working on for all these years is putting my foot down in a gentle way by standing up for myself, voicing myself, setting boundaries, not just with others, but myself, setting those boundaries with myself. Most of the time it was me crossing my own boundaries. I love how you see that weave together with the arrows and the stress path. Like [00:17:00] that is just, so incredibly helpful in just better understanding oneself. Another thing, I'm going to say again, when it comes to the feelings that come up for you, besides using the feelings wheel and trying to better understand that, but just in general, getting to understand your nervous system's role in feelings and emotions. The polyvagal theory is something that I teach on, and I am just so in love with. It taught me so much about myself and the stories that I've been working through. But knowing that we climb this ladder up and down throughout the day, and these are the different states of our nervous system, and sometimes we're in that dorsal state where we're in that apathy, hopelessness kind of funk, or just don't want to do anything, slug kind of funk. And then maybe later on, you might have a ton of energy, and that's how you move through all of these layers, and it's normal to feel that. Some [00:18:00] people might judge themselves though, because they're like, well, I'm all over the place and nothing makes sense. It's okay. This is how the nervous system works. Yes, it's a little concerning at first for people when you don't realize that, but it's something where the more you get to know your nervous system and how it is meant to fluctuate and go through these stages, the more acceptance, the more love you can have for yourself and the less judgmental we start to. then become. And like you said, sometimes allowing yourself to be in that funk is the best thing you could possibly do, because you're practicing acceptance for where you are and being okay with it and not having this story that you need to change something about yourself in any way.
Karrie: And you're honoring the emotion without judging it, without placing an idea that it's something bad or negative to be feeling, which is also key to moving that energy through your body more quickly. And speaking of moving [00:19:00] energy through your body, movement of the body can help this, like we've talked about in other episodes. So doing some kind of movement you enjoy, whether it's taking a walk somewhere you feel is very beautiful or doing yoga or dancing to music you love, just moving your body can do wonders for maybe not getting rid of the emotions, but at least maybe shifting them or allowing you to know that they're temporarily there.
Dominique: Yep, those are all things that I will go to when I'm feeling like I'm in a funk, because now I'm at this stage where I can identify what nervous system state I might be stuck in, and then there's different tools like you mentioned, like dancing is one of those that helps to actually bring me out of dorsal and come up into sympathetic where you just have more energy in your body. And that's what you need in order to come out of that dorsal state. So like dancing, singing is a great one to stimulate the vagus nerve. So again, you can pull [00:20:00] yourself out of the dorsal state and bring more energy to your body. Or walking, and also I do a lot of like shaking of my arms and legs, if I'm actually stuck in a more sympathetic, anxious state to push the energy out from my body. So all of these practices can be just beautiful ways to honor where you're at, to show yourself some love, to just work with it when you are feeling these states of funk or whatever may be coming up for you, and it all comes down to really acceptance and love for yourself through different practices and identifying what works best for you. I like to create a menu that I can just go straight to. I've got it on my phone and I have a funk menu of different activities I can do when I am feeling in a funk. That way I don't have to think about it either. Have you ever done that?
Karrie: I haven't created the menu, but it's a great idea. Another quick one I wanted to [00:21:00] mention just because it's one you can literally do anywhere, whether you're at work, whether you're in a stressful family situation, or just in a crowd with a lot of people is just stopping and doing some intentional breathing. No one will even know you're doing it, but really allowing your mind to focus on the breath, focus on deeper inhales and longer exhales and even doing this for one minute can help bring that funk into maybe a less intense space.
Dominique: Yeah, like a more controlled, accepted, hey, let's just stay present with it and focus on the breath, which that really is something that we have control over and can from there also alter the nervous system state, altering the state of funk that we might be in.
Karrie: Thank you for listening to this episode. Your support is so appreciated. [00:22:00]
Dominique: If you'd like to have a question answered about your Human Design or Enneagram type in a future episode, you can submit it through the link in the show notes. We'd love to hear from you.
