A&A Ep. 80
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Karrie: [00:00:00] Welcome to Awakened and Alive After 40.
Dominique: If you're searching for inspiring and easy to apply Enneagram and Human Design content, then you've come to the right place. We're your hosts, Dominique
Karrie: and Karrie, two friends and coaches who are passionate about sharing our knowledge and insights on these two powerful self awareness systems to help you step outside the box and into a life that is true to who you really are.
Dominique: We're so grateful to have you here. Let's jump into today's episode.
Karrie: Hello, everyone. We are so excited for our episode today because we are talking to a person who has personally impacted me greatly in my life. She is my Enneagram teacher from Enneagram University. Her name is Kristi Rowles, and she is an amazing human. She's so interesting, and [00:01:00] Dominique and I are super excited to introduce her to you today, as well as talk a little bit about her Enneagram type, her Enneagram story, and her Human Design.
Dominique: Yeah, I'm really excited for this because I know Kristi is newer to Human Design, so I'm excited to share more about this, but also just to finally meet her because I've heard you talk so much, Karrie, about your mentor, and I just think that it's just such a beautiful connection that the two of you have, so I'm super excited to chat more especially when we talk about stepping outside the box and following your joy, following the things that feel authentic and light you up. I am just so thrilled for our conversation because Kristi has had some amazing things happening in her life. I am excited to hear more about how she has been following her joy throughout the years as Karrie and I have embarked on that same thing over the years as coaches and just starting within our 40s. If you're a [00:02:00] listener of the show, you know that we love to talk about stepping outside the box. It is never too late to start really following your authentic voice, your authentic true needs and wants and creating a life that is aligned to you and nobody else.
Karrie: Welcome, Kristi. We wanted to first just ask you a little bit about your own Enneagram journey, how you got interested in the Enneagram and became an Enneagram coach and then later started this amazing certification program with Enneagram University.
Kristi: Yeah, well, thanks for having me. I'm excited to chat with you guys, obviously, and grateful to be here and very excited to learn about Human Design more as well, cause obviously Enneagram is my world and I just, I love all the things. So my Enneagram journey began years ago. I actually was in my own therapy, and we had been working together for like two years at that point. My therapist was kind of like, okay, you've done a lot of work. We've talked about a lot of things. You seem like you're in a much better [00:03:00] place. Are we ready to start transitioning out, which immediately freaks me out. And I was like, uh, no, I'm not. Also I'm not because I came to you because I have anxiety in my life and it's still there. Like if I do enough work, if I process enough, I will eradicate anxiety from my life for all of eternity. That began a conversation for us just about what does anxiety mean? How does it show up in your life and like moving forward. So she actually introduced me to the Enneagram. I listened to a podcast that she recommended and that podcast went through all the nine types, and listening through, I would listen on my commutes cause I had a decent drive to the office at that point, and I resonated with some, connected with some, but then when they got to my type, I was like, Oh my God. I feel exposed. I feel naked. I feel like my whole body reacted almost of like, you know, and like I was a hundred percent in the car by myself, but I looked around, I think just like, Oh my God, I feel naked, you know? So at that [00:04:00] point I was like, okay, I do not just a little resonate with this. This feels like I didn't realize that other people did this, thought like this, that this is the way that I was that was unique to me. I think, yeah, it was just a weird experience. And so the type that I am most identified with is the Enneagram Type 6. For anybody out there who knows the Enneagram well, or has listened to as Karrie shares, the Enneagram 6, it's kind of like anxiety is a giant part of their life. And so at the time, it felt really painful to identify myself as a 6, because it felt like the life sentence to anxiety that I would never be able to overcome. I'd never be able to erase from my life. And so initially I was like, this tool is stupid, I don't want to look at this anymore, it's like too painful, and so kind of threw it away and my therapist just like kept bringing it up and so we continued to dive in further, talk about it more, and then it really led into this journey of, okay, if anxiety is going to be a part of my life, how do I learn to have a relationship with her? I [00:05:00] personify my feelings, right? So how do I learn to have a relationship with her in a way that honors her and hears her but doesn't allow her to necessarily run my life? It became a really beautiful, painful process of healing for me and of self acceptance for me. But that was really important because I think without that, I would have spent my life running from myself and shaming myself for having feelings of fear, worry, or whatever we want to call them. Now at this point it's like, oh yeah, that's my anxious parts again. Oh yeah, that's normal for me to feel scared of that, and then that allows me to kind of move through it instead of lathering on the judgment and the shame when the anxiety is there. So that's like my birth into the Enneagram journey, and there's obviously a ton more, but, yeah, that's my origin story.
Dominique: Wow. That's fascinating, Kristi, because one thing that I struggled with was anxiety as well for many, many years, and I went into learning all about the nervous system. And I [00:06:00] think, Karrie, didn't you and I think I was a 6 for a hot second when we were trying to figure out my Enneagram type?
Karrie: There's definitely some 6-ness there because we discovered that Dominique is a Type 9, which if she is experiencing some stress or difficult times in her life, she can take on some of those unhealthy 6 tendencies.
Kristi: Totally.
Dominique: Mm hmm. Yeah. So I very much relate to a lot of what you just shared with us and thank you for sharing that with us. It's something that I'm super passionate about as well as learning more about how to manage anxiety, what it really is. I like to talk to the little one within me as well and serve as her protector, so I love the way you speak to yourself about that.
Kristi: Yeah. Thanks. Thanks. It's felt really important, and I think that the Enneagram allows us to look back and say, why do these parts of me exist, and also, how did they serve me [00:07:00] at one point? When I look back, when I was younger, I think, oh my gosh, my family life was insane. And it's like, my anxiety is how I kept myself safe for a long time. It was my protector when I was a kid. And so now moving into adulthood, it becomes this healing relationship where I'm essentially trying to reparent that part of me and say, my life is different. I'm safe now. I don't have to be so scared. I can trust myself. I can explore. I can play. I can do all of these things. So yeah, inner child work is, I mean, it's really everything.
Dominique: Yeah, it's, it's powerful.
Karrie: Kristi's background before she was an Enneagram coach is you were a therapist, so you do understand the power of these modalities at an experiential level.
Kristi: Totally. Yeah. And the compassion, I think so much of healing too is like, can I have compassion for myself? That is like the pathway because otherwise we just judge and shame these parts of ourselves. But yeah, the program that I went through to get my master's was very experiential in terms of like, we do our own work to be an ethical therapist. We don't ask our clients to do work we [00:08:00] haven't done. So it was just kind of part of my process of learning myself, but then also then being able to facilitate that for clients, and yeah, so much of it revolved around inner child work because if we can be kind to the parts of ourselves that we don't understand, or we don't like, that really is the pathway to move forward. Instead of I hate this part of me, or I'm embarrassed, or why am I this way? It's, this is true for me, and how do I learn to be kind to those parts of me and move forward? There's a phrase, it's like no one actually goes through shame. Shame is like a temporary behavior modification. So with shame, there is no way to heal through that. When we shame ourselves, when we experience shame from ourselves or other people, that is a temporary behavior modification tool of like, Oh, I don't like this. I'm going to do something different. But suffering and pain thrives in shame. And so if we can eradicate the shame, it allows us to be gentle and be kind to ourselves. And I'm always like, how would you treat a kid who was scared? Great. Let's also treat yourself that way. Right? There's just those little us [00:09:00] parts inside that are trying to stay safe and get loved or get attention or get our needs met, and those needs are really valid.
Dominique: That's absolutely beautiful, all that you just shared on the whole process. I'm curious to know what brought you to transition from working in therapy to becoming an Enneagram specialist.
Kristi: So I worked at a residential treatment center for teenage girls. It was very intense. I did a lot of parent coaching, family therapy at times. I was also seeing clients at a college nearby, which was so fun by the way. College students are just fun and cool and so open. So I was doing that. And honestly, after being there for like four and a half years, I was just really burnt out. The parents at the treatment center had my phone number, they would have a tough call with their daughter and then they would call or text me at like 10 PM, and I was just really, really tired. I wound up, I think at that point realizing as a 6, when we talk about our arrows of stress and growth for a 6, we move towards a 3 in [00:10:00] stress, which is basically being a workaholic, massively simplified. For me, that's the way that it showed up, being a workaholic, almost running from my anxiety by staying busy sort of thing. I just realized, wow, I actually think I've spent most of my life doing this. This isn't actually healthy for me. Growing up, I got a ton of affirmation for being a hard worker, an excellent student, doing all these things. You get so much affirmation for your performance, and for me, my performance was actually representative of me being in an unhealthy space, so I think that was just a little bit of an awakening moment, and I thought, this is not working for me. So my partner and I, Nick, we decided like, let's move back to Florida where both of us born and raised there. So we left our jobs and Nick started working. He's also kind of has a psych background. But he started doing real estate stuff. He was super supportive of me taking six months off and just decompressing and processing and doing a lot of yoga and sleeping a lot. Then I just decided I really still care about this [00:11:00] mental health work and how do I do this in a way that's fun and also lighter and also flexible, instead of going to an office where I had to like see five, six clients a day. Can I do it from my laptop? Can I do it more open and where I had more freedom, more autonomy. So that led me to coaching, so I wound up getting an Enneagram certification and started coaching and it was super fun. I was doing that for a couple of years, and then I started to have a lot of people ask, where would you suggest I get certified to do this work? Honestly, there wasn't a program that I felt great about, and that's usually what I told people, like, here's some, here's some things to think about, pick whichever one you want. And then people started saying like, why don't you just make up your own? I was like, Oh my God, I can do that? So that began a process of like, Whoa, I don't feel qualified and I'm scared and what if I can't do it? Anyway, months passed, I built this program, launch it out the first time, and had like 20 students sign up. I was like, Oh my God, I think maybe this is something. Time has just continued to pass and more people enroll and more people have great things to say, so even though there's that little part of me inside [00:12:00] that's like, does this suck? Are you actually not qualified? I'm like, well, everyone else says it's great, so I'm just going to ride that wave.
Karrie: No I can confirm, it is great. I loved the program. I did all three levels. She has three levels and you can do one, two, or all of them. The first level is just learning all about the Enneagram system very deeply. The second level is learning about coaching skills and how to become a coach, and the third level, which is gold, are the business skills, how to set up your own business, because most of us who go into this want that autonomy, and we want to create our own business, and Kristi gives all of the info for that, which is not easily found out there.
Dominique: That's huge.
Karrie: And then the other cool thing that no program that I've ever been a part of has done this, is every month she hosts calls, video chats, for past and current students to join. And you can talk about struggles you're having within your business or questions you have [00:13:00] about types or clients or whatever, and we all can come in and go as meets our schedule. But it is an amazing resource even for people like me who have finished the program and am fully certified. I can still join that. And it's great because there's people of all levels in there. There's new students, there's experienced coaches, and we all learn from each other.
Dominique: Wow. That's amazing. And you know what? I have to say, because I love to learn. I have taken many classes and certifications, and what I really look for are those things that you just mentioned. First off, the assistance with the business mindset and setting it up and the whole process of it because it's terrifying if you know nothing about it. I came from the physical therapy clinic. I knew nothing about starting my own business. And so when I found the program that I went through, that was a key selling point for me and the most impactful part. Then the support even after, I love that you provide that for your people, [00:14:00] Kristi. That's amazing. Whether you have finished last year or whenever it is, you can still get to meet new people. Even, I think it's, a good thing to hear from those who have finished when you're a beginner and maybe nervous about the whole process and not sure like, is this going to work for me? But if you can hear from people that have already been through it and just see what they're doing and the whole process of the community connection is beautiful. That's awesome.
Karrie: It's her Type 6-ness because that community aspect, community building, and then Dominique mentioned to me that your Human Design chart has a ton of leadership in it, so those leadership skills are just part of who you are.
Dominique: Yeah. As I'm listening to you talk as well, Kristi, there's things that are popping in my mind. I'm like, man, just naturally you are following your design, what you are here to do and your energy, so I'm excited to share more of that for sure.
Karrie: Kristi is new to Human Design. She doesn't know a lot, and [00:15:00] Dominique is going to share a little bit more about that. She is a Generator, which is super fun because we had Natalia Hernandez on as a guest and she's also a Generator.
Dominique: Yeah. If you are listening to this episode and you would like to actually see what I'm going to be showing Kristi, head over to our YouTube channel because I upload our videos there and Karrie and I already have quite a few to check out. You can certainly check this one out and see exactly what I am sharing with Kristi as I'm going through that right now.
Kristi: Can I just say it's kind of fun because knowing the Enneagram so well and with new people, sometimes it's like, Oh my gosh, the system is so complex. I'm overwhelmed. And so it's now funny because when I look at this map, I'm like, Oh my God, what am I even looking at, which I love and I'm excited and I love to learn. So I'm looking forward to it.
Dominique: I am so excited for this because as you can see, yes, and we've talked about this before, there's a lot happening here, super [00:16:00] overwhelming. But what I want to share with you today, Kristi, is what I actually share with my first time clients is the four key elements of your Human Design chart. If you were to live by these key elements and really implement, and experiment with them, your life is going to be full of greater ease and flow just by doing these things. So, first off, we're going to go over your type, and that's like your aura. That is your energy, and you are known as a Generator. Generators are the builders and doers of the world. They are here to create. As you were talking about the way in which you entered into creating your program, that gave me just this huge smile because as a Generator, your strategy, the strategy is known as our way to take aligned action, is to respond to something outside of yourself. So you're responding [00:17:00] to the world around you. And you mentioned that someone said to you, why don't you just create your own program? And that lit you up inside, correct?
Kristi: Yeah. Yeah. It was terrifying, but also really exciting. Like, Ooh, can I do that?
Dominique: Yeah, exactly. So that response that you got within your sacral center, I'll get to that in a moment, but that response that you got where it was just like, Oh, like this is exciting. That you then followed through on. So your strategy for a Generator is to just wait for your outside world to give you clues and cues on what to do next. And it is all dependent on how you respond. Is it gonna be an uhhuh or an uhuh? Does it feel like a deep yes in your gut? There's that difference between the anxious energy and the joyful energy, excited energy. 'Cause it's the same, right? Anxiety and [00:18:00] excitement are the same, but that's where it can be tricky to differentiate sometimes. The fascinating part for you, and I'm kind of jealous about this, is your inner authority, which is your inner compass, it gives flavor to the way you respond, is known as sacral authority. So your sacral center is right down here. It's the second from the bottom. With a defined sacral, you are going to know if something is right for you if it gives you that uh huh feeling. And I'm saying uh huh because the sacral center is nonverbal. It's just this like. Um, uh, kind of feeling, this gut sensation of goodness. We say that the sacral center is nonverbal, and actually, when I question Generators or Manifesting Generators to help them gain clarity, I ask yes/no questions, and I have them respond with uh huh or uh uh so they don't jump into their mind and start [00:19:00] overthinking. So we're going with that nonverbal language. Anytime you're trying to make a decision, an important decision, you're going to know in the moment, and that's how the Sacral Center works. It's in the moment when something comes into your environment for you to respond to, whether it's good or bad, you're going to know right then there. Obviously you want it to be an uh huh, so you can follow through and build, create, follow your joy. Generators are here to master their joy. So what brings you joy, you are here to master so you can share it with others. I think that's such a beautiful thing. So we just went over your type and strategy. So Generator, you're here to wait to respond and then take action. We went over your inner authority, that's that extra flavor, that inner compass, I like to call it, that extra intuitive knowing as well. So sacral center in the moment. Uh huh. Uh uh I like to share about the profile. Your profile is your characteristics. It's [00:20:00] how you learn, how you lead, how you are here to guide others. It's kind of like the costume that we wear. You're what's known as a 5/1. With the 5/1, you have this interpersonal karma. So the 5 is here for others. You lead others, you grow through understanding others. You are also known kind of as a karmic mirror. So what that can sometimes look like is people could project upon you that you are here to save them. That you know what's best and they may just naturally sense that within your energy and come to you for assistance, for clarity, just for support. That can be a beautiful thing, especially in your past as a therapist, but at the same time can also be overwhelming if you don't feel comfortable saying yes to the things that really light you up [00:21:00] and saying yes to more than you could actually handle. So with a 5, that's where learning to say no to the things that don't light you up, but also saying no so you can protect your own inner peace. That's something where a 5 can also get hung up and sometimes not show their true self if they are projected upon quite frequently, especially as younger individuals. A lot of fives tend to hide that deeper, that sensitive side of themselves, that true self because it can be so painful to have people project their hurts and wants upon you and feel that maybe if you can't live up to it, that there's some failure in it. So 5s can have this beautiful side where you're here to lead, you're here to guide, but just because you can do it all, doesn't mean you have to. The 1 is the researcher. You are really driven by learning [00:22:00] and gaining knowledge and diving down the rabbit hole of learning all you can about the Enneagram or whatever it might be that lights you up, that brings you joy. And that's where it can transition beautifully over into that 5 as the leadership, as that support and guidance as well. So the 5/1 is a beautiful profile. I really love it. Someone close in my life has this 5/1 and it's again, just beautiful leadership and characteristics.
Karrie: I'm really drawn to 5/1s too. Two of my closest friends are 5/1s. So it's just this like energy about five ones. I don't know what it is.
Dominique: I'm curious to hear from you, Kristi, when I mentioned that karmic mirror and people could potentially project upon you, does that sound or feel familiar at all?
Kristi: Yeah, definitely. I mean, there was so much in what you shared that I was like, like my brain's trailing down thinking, Oh yeah, I remember that time when that's happened. So in the [00:23:00] Enneagram we use the language Dependent Type. There's three of our types, the 1, 2, and the 6 that are Dependent Types, and that kept coming up for me as you were sharing this tendency of the responding to the world, responding to people's needs. I mean, one thing that comes up in my life a lot is I do things and then afterward I'm kind of like, Oh, did I even want to do that, where it's like I just responded or I took care of someone or I met their need or their request, and then afterward I kind of sit and think, hmm, how do I feel about that? Do I feel great that I did that or not? So that's, yeah, that's a theme kind of in my life recently.
Dominique: Yeah. And I think just experimenting with that sacral response could be a really powerful way for you to feel more confident in what you're saying yes to, what is correct for you, as a 5/1 and just an individual who loves helping people.
Kristi: Totally.
Dominique: The last thing that I want to mention here is real quick, your conscious sun up here on the top right. [00:24:00] You are a 7 for your conscious sun and this is where like 70 percent of your expression of what you are here to give is around this, and it's the Gate of Self-interaction. The 7 is here to serve as a leader, so it is powerful leadership that you have here. There's other parts in your chart too that are all about leadership, and there's quite a few, so I'm not going to go into all of them. But just knowing that you are here to be a leader, to be a guide, and to provide support, and be diplomatic, and give people voice and guidance that they're looking for to build upon their own lives. Especially in here you do have where the 13 just underneath is your conscious earth, and this is what helps ground you. The 13 is known as the Keeper of Secrets. These individuals often have people tell them things where they're like, Oh my God, [00:25:00] I've never told anyone that, I don't know where that came from. But they have this sense of your ability to hold space for them, to listen to them, and to allow them to be seen, to be heard. It's so beautiful as you mentioned that you were a therapist in the past, even with what you do right now. So that grounded energy is in the ability to hold people's stories and to listen to people, to share their stories as well so that you're helping to empower them and to give guidance in ways. So it's a really beautiful design that you have, and I am so grateful that I was able to share this with you. So thank you, Kristi.
Kristi: Yeah. Thank you for sharing. I feel like I'm going to be ruminating for a little while, I think the uh-huh and the uh-uh is resonating as well, because I do sometimes feel this sort of energy and sensing like, oh yeah, that feels aligned, that doesn't feel aligned. And it's [00:26:00] like, I have always had this sense, sometimes, of the exploring over and over and over in my head, overthinking. But maybe there is something to that uh huh and uh uh that I have an opportunity to lean into and trust more. I think one of the things as an Enneagram 6 that comes up for us over and over is the lack of self trust and that leads to some of the overthinking. And so hearing that kind of reaffirmed is really interesting.
Dominique: Yeah, I'm so glad. And there are other placements in your chart that also connect to the lack of self trust and the overthinking for sure. But one thing that I would invite you to do, and I like to say that Human Design is an experiment because you're your own authority. Only you know what is best for you. So, no matter what anybody tells you, you just have to try it for yourself to see if it feels good or not. What I like to invite people to do is if you have a trusted person in your life that you feel could ask you some really good [00:27:00] questions, you can let them know and say, I'm trying to make this decision. I would love for you to ask me yes/no questions, and just knowing for yourself, you're going to answer in the uh huh or uh uh method. And instantly, if there's any pause, that means you've gone into your mind. So you're going with that initial gut response with the questions that are being presented to you and with that nonverbal language. So you can practice it, experiment with it, and just see how it feels. I think that could be a really fun thing to do with the whole experimenting process.
Karrie: We love layering Enneagram and Human Design upon each other. It's what we're all about. I can imagine for a head type, Type 6s are in the head center and a lot is going on in the head, to find out your sacral authority and try to connect with that gut response is maybe a little bit jarring of like, how do I do that? My sister is also a Type 6, and she's always like, I don't know what my [00:28:00] intuition is, I just think through everything. And so having the sacral authority is like, complete opposite of what head types have been doing their whole lives.
Dominique: Yeah, yeah. That's why I said I'm so jealous about sacral authority because Karrie's an emotional authority. She has to wait and process it. I'm a mental authority which is a difficult one on its own because I don't have any connection to my body in that way. So it's soundboarding off of people, which is a waiting process. It's just something that takes time.
Karrie: Which isn't it interesting she's a Type 9 and doesn't have that body connection. She's in the body center but like one of those anchor types.
Kristi: Yeah, it's connected.
Karrie: And having dissociation and just all of that. For us, it's so interesting how these two systems can come together and be like, oh my gosh. If you understand Enneagram, but then you learn a little Human Design, it adds a whole other dimension and vice versa.
Dominique: It's so many different flavors. It's like making a soup. You just add a little bit of different [00:29:00] ingredients to just come to this beautiful recipe of being your most authentic self, you know? It's so fun.
Kristi: Yeah. I've always just said with the Enneagram, it's like take parts that align with you and release parts that don't. We are so complex and no matter Human Design, Enneagram, Strength Finder, Myers-Briggs, whatever tool you want to use can only encompass so much about us, and we are so layered and so complex. So being able to like pull little nuggets from all these different places to have language for what it's like to be us, and also things that might be helpful for us to lean into. That's really important and fun.
Karrie: Kristi, I want to talk a little bit with our audience about something that's so cool about you that we haven't really touched upon yet, and that is that there are seasons of your life when you and your husband decide to live abroad, and you are in one of those seasons right now. So tell us a little bit about where you've been in the past, where you are now, how you choose where you go, [00:30:00] and what you get out of this.
Kristi: Oh my gosh. Yes. I was talking to somebody a few months ago and they said something like, I don't have any interest in traveling outside of the US, and I was like, I do not relate. To me it's like you live on this earth, which is like a giant mansion. You only go in one room. What about all the other rooms? There's so many other rooms. I think part of my healing work too is like coming home to myself, coming home to that gut instinct, learning to trust those parts of me that just constantly feels like a work in my life that I'm like working toward. So one of the things I've been thinking, not thinking, really, healing, leaning into, trying to lean into in my own therapy work still today is I am my own home. So no matter where I am in the world, what country I'm in, what house I'm in, wherever, I am home here in my body, in myself, and in my soul. And so can I carry that wherever I go? Yeah, travel is just fun. I mean, I love it. I freaking love food. So it's like, take me [00:31:00] anywhere. Let me try all the different food from all the different places. I love culture. I love rich culture. I love colors. Like my mom said, when I was little, that I used to change the TV station to the Spanish channel and just watch it forever. I didn't speak Spanish. I had neighbors who were Mexican and they spoke Spanish obviously, but I was too young to, I wasn't even learning anything. And I just love the colors and I loved the difference. Growing up in my neighborhood, the way our neighborhood was set up, it was us, a single dad right beside us with four kids. The Mexican family across the street, he used to make us the best tamales ever that I still love. A gay couple directly across from us, and a Black couple right next to them. And I just thought, this is it. This diversity, this is such a beautiful encapsulation of humanity. I think that even from being young, Florida is a very diverse place. We have a lot of immigrants in Florida, and moving to Indiana, which I did for seven years, was like, oh my god. And this place is like, everybody looks the same, talks the same, learns the [00:32:00] same. By the end of the seven years, I was like itching to get back to what feels like home to me, which is being around a lot of different cultures and types of people. So in the past, we've done a lot of trips, like I've been to England, I went to Northern Ireland, I've been to France, been to India to celebrate two of our friends' wedding, which was incredible because it was a traditional Indian wedding, which is like seven days of straight up partying and eating and dancing. And it was just such a blast. And so we just decided, Nick and I, that we love being abroad, but the thing we love most is really being a part of the culture, practicing the language, eating the food, and knowing what it's like to be a normal person there. And so going over for a week or a couple of days just wasn't enough. It's like, Oh, you did all the hard part by getting there, planning, paying for the flight, and then you don't even really get to like soak it in. And so for us, it was like, how do we make this an opportunity where we get to soak it in. So in 2022, we decided we're going to go to Guatemala. We looked at a [00:33:00] ton of different countries and we just landed on Guatemala, and I honestly don't even fully remember why. Potentially because it was in Central America. It was close to us in Florida. Spanish is the language we know next because of so many Spanish speakers in Florida. And so we chose Guatemala. We stayed there for three months, and it was the best experience of my life. It was, I think, one of the first times, which what am I about to say sounds really sad and depressing, and we could talk about it more if you want. But I had a moment there, like the second day I was there, and I had got a coffee at this really cute space. And I walked upstairs and I was the only one there and I could see the volcanoes and see the clouds. There was these beautiful Bougainvilleas, and I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm feeling this feeling in my body and I don't really know what it is. And then it was like this rush of awareness of the feeling I was having was happiness. That was a spiritual moment for me. I carry that with me now. It's something I think about constantly, almost daily probably, where I'm like, I am allowed to [00:34:00] feel happy. And I now know how to feel happy, I think, kind of, you know, and so it's like learning how to ride a bike, like, okay, what is happiness? How do I do this? So, yeah, we just continue to find ways to travel abroad. We do it in a lot of countries where the U. S. currency converts really well, so we can have incredible experiences that are affordable for us, but not obviously blow our bank account. So in India, we stayed at this absolutely gorgeous hotel for a few nights, and we ate at the rooftop bar and we got like six courses, and it was total like 45, 50 dollars. And I was like, I just ate for 10 people. This is the best moment ever. So yeah, right now we're in Ecuador. The average meal is like 4 or 5 dollars, delicious street food, really fun, different culture. So it is that pursuit of happiness, pursuit of joy that continues to heal me.
Dominique: Especially cause Karrie and I love to talk about what is your definition of happiness or success or whatever it might be? And it [00:35:00] sounds like you kind of. began to identify what your definition was. Because I know for me, my definition was based off of what other people told me happiness or joy or success or family looked like. It's been powerful aha moments for me as I've began to identify my own definition of certain things. Wow, as you were talking about what is this feeling? Oh my God, it's happiness. That's beautiful.
Karrie: It really is. Another interesting part of Kristi's story is she owns a whole other business that is all about her going toward her joy. Can you tell us a little bit about your other business venture?
Karrie: Hey there, friend. Have you signed up for the Awakened and Alive newsletter yet? If not, we want to invite you to get on the list so you don't miss out on the exciting new offerings we have planned for 2024.
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Kristi: Yes. So I had been doing Enneagram University for a couple of years and it's fun, but it's a different kind of fun. It's still heady. It's still personal growth. And I think for me, I just really felt like I needed something that brought more joy and more play and more creativity into my life. I had been a shopper of this small business for a couple of years, and they announced that they were selling it. The owner was just like, I am ready to move on and I've served my time and I feel great, and now I'm ready to pass it on. So when it came up, I was like, Oh my gosh, I need it. So this business is accessories, really fun earrings, bags. I'm wearing these confetti hoops right now, which are some of ours. Playful things, so it's like pink and glitter, but there's also a flavor of advocacy in it because that's who I am. So it's like talking about ending the patriarchy, but doing it with like a cute [00:37:00] little satchel. It's been a really fun and challenging process. I mean, I've never owned a product based business. I still sometimes feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. And yet I do feel like that's probably really good and important for me because part of my makeup in the past has been I don't like to do things that I'm not great at. It's scary. It continues to be a challenge, but in a way that I think feels good and important for me. But either way, it was a pursuit of play and fun, and it continues to be that.
Karrie: We will link that shop, as well as Enneagram University, obviously, in the show notes. So if any listeners are interested in checking out the super cute accessories that are part of Rozie June, they can easily do that. Something else that Dominique and I talk about very frequently on the podcast, and we love asking our guests about what are two or three of your core values that you live by that are driving who you are as a person and the decisions you make in your [00:38:00] life.
Kristi: That is good. And where do I begin? One of the things I think, is which is such a projection of my 6-ness, but it's really, really, really important to me that everyone feels safe to exist and be themselves in the world. My coaching business when I first launched it was called Full and Free Enneagram Coaching, and it really was based on that idea. I want everyone to feel safe to be their full self and to feel freedom to express that knowing that they are loved and safe to do so and will be celebrated, not just a tolerance, but like an actual inclusion and excitement to include. So creating safe spaces is huge for me. That's a giant value. I think another one is the essence of every decision and every choice comes from love. There's a lot of judgments, rules, societal rules and standards, different belief systems and structures. And for me, I had a friend who said once, I just always want to [00:39:00] err on the side of love. I grew up in a religious background and no longer practice. But one of the things coming out of that was this kind of fixation on love, but the way that it was often expressed actually wasn't very loving and caused a lot of pain and suffering for people. My own process of deconstructing my faith system and my belief system growing up, especially in the South of the U S where there's still a lot of values that aren't loving and kind to minority groups, was just saying like, I will always lean on the side of love at this point. That feels really important to me. So love, safety, and then probably the other one that's coming to mind is authenticity, which is that want you to be your full self. I want people to know themselves and be able to express that knowing that they'll be loved. There's plenty of weird funky people to connect with and something that I love to do, even with my dog or with people in my life, like recently my mom has gotten into quilting the last couple years, and it's just so sweet to watch her love what she's doing. When [00:40:00] she's cutting her little squares, I genuinely sit back sometimes and I'm like, I love that for her. I love that she's being her, and that's all that matters. She is doing things that feel fun and connected to her soul, and I love that for her.
Karrie: They fit completely into everything we touch on nearly every week on our podcast because we are always talking about love. We are always talking about
Dominique: authenticity.
Karrie: Coming back to yourself through love, yeah, through authenticity, through integrity.
Dominique: Safety. I mean, when we talk about the nervous system and just as a human being being seen, loved, feeling safe and heard.
Kristi: It's honestly everything. I have a little tattoo here. It's a Mother Teresa quote. It says, if we have no peace, it's because we've forgotten that we belong to each other. And so it's like, that's it guys. Like if we're only here for a short time, and if we're in this weird solar system that like we're falling through outer space and maybe nothing matters, then can we just create a loving, safe existence for everybody, where we get to celebrate and have fun and make the most of our existence. I [00:41:00] love that that connects so much.
Dominique: Yeah, absolutely. When you were mentioning a few of your core values, like authenticity and love are two of mine. With love, I like to say, we're born as love, and then the world starts to bring all these questions and doubts within ourselves. I feel like the journey of a lifetime is to return back to that center of love, so that way we can shine that out into the world. I always tell myself, I'm never going to regret coming from a place of love.
Kristi: Yes.
Dominique: In all that I do. I can respond or react this way, but if I come from that place of love, whether it's somebody said something and I don't agree, that's okay. They can disagree. I don't have to take that personally. I can just simply acknowledge it and say thank you for sharing. I won't regret ever coming to them in that manner. So it's something that I greatly value in my own life and the authenticity like you mentioned, we're all so unique in this world. We're all [00:42:00] here for a different purpose. So why on earth would we want to be like anyone else? And that's what adds so much life and flavor to this world. I struggled with allowing my authentic side to come out. I morphed, I chameleoned into whoever I needed to be growing up. I never felt safe to show my true self because when I did in the past, I ended up getting hurt. And that was then the story that carried over. So living authentically within myself and allowing others to do the same is a big one for me. I would say the other one for me is growth. I am constantly wanting to learn. How can I better myself? How can I better my community through the knowledge that I gain? Or how can I give back in certain ways through improving myself? And so I really cherish growth and constantly growing as a human being.
Kristi: I love that.
Karrie: For me, my number one core value, I think, is freedom because I am really [00:43:00] craving just freedom of time, freedom of where I live. That nomadic lifestyle is very appealing to me, and just freedom of choice to be able to, which aligns with authenticity, really, because it's just about, freedom to be who I am without fear, worry, judgment, especially of myself, because as an Enneagram Type 1, there's a lot of judgment that I have been working through my whole life. Simplicity is also a big one for me because moving abroad helps you realize what you actually need and what you don't need, and so simplicity became super important to me. I want to keep my life as simple as possible, and even just little things. When I lived in the U. S. before moving abroad, I had a giant wallet. I got to Spain, and I was like, I just want a tiny little wallet. And so I downsized to this little wallet that can just hold the essentials, and I was like, I'm never going back. Even when I moved back to the United States, I am carrying a tiny wallet.
Kristi: Do you?
Karrie: Just those little things. Yep. Oh yeah. That's a rule I've [00:44:00] set for myself, Kristi, you better believe I'm not going to break it. And then the third one I wanted to touch on because actually the interview we did with my former Enneagram University classmate, Natalia, she's a Type 7, and she just exudes joy, and we were talking about values, and I was like I really think joy needs to be one of my values. Because as a Type 1, going to that Type 7 is my growth path, and it's sometimes so hard for me to harness that joy and find that joy because I'm so rigid and trying to do all the right things, quote unquote. So this year, 2024, I've really been trying to lean into joy more as a core value, which is perfect because as a Generator, Kristi is on her path of moving towards joy and bringing joy into the world.
Dominique: Absolutely. And your energy as we're talking right now, it just exudes. What I feel is just pure joy coming off of you. I love just feeling that connection, seeing the connection, and this [00:45:00] has just been a wonderful experience to have your energy around us.
Kristi: Thank you.
Karrie: I have felt joy through all of it because I'm talking to two of my favorite people. You both are amazing humans. Kristi, I'm so happy you are a person who's in my life, who I have learned from, who I continue to learn from. Just thank you so much for coming on our podcast. We really, really appreciate you giving us your time.
Kristi: Thank you guys both for having me. I think the joy for me is the being with people where there's an alignment and that connection. I feel like podcast are always so hard cause by the end, usually I'm like, I just want to squeeze you, and I can't cause we're not in the same room, which is always hard. Thank you for having me, and thanks for creating a space. Thanks for teaching me new things to consider in my own life and things to lean into, and I love y'all's values as well. Let's have them all.
Dominique: Absolutely.
Karrie: Thank you for listening to this episode. [00:46:00] Your support is so appreciated.
Dominique: If you'd like to have a question answered about your Human Design or Enneagram type in a future episode, you can submit it through the link in the show notes. We'd love to hear from you.
