A&A Ep. 78
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Karrie: [00:00:00] Welcome to Awakened and Alive After 40.
Dominique: If you're searching for inspiring and easy to apply Enneagram and Human Design content, then you've come to the right place. We're your hosts, Dominique
Karrie: and Karrie, two friends and coaches who are passionate about sharing our knowledge and insights on these two powerful self awareness systems to help you step outside the box and into a life that is true to who you really are.
Dominique: We're so grateful to have you here. Let's jump into today's episode.
Dominique: Hey there and welcome back to Awakened and Alive After 40. We are so happy to have you with us today. We're going to be talking a little bit more about what it is to be an emotional versus a non-emotional when it comes to Human Design. Karrie and I are just going to elaborate on this a little bit more because a few [00:01:00] episodes ago, we were talking about emotional hijacking and how to prevent that from happening and how to better manage and maintain your own inner peace. When we look at it from the lens of Human Design and how we are all energy, I think this is going to be a really powerful conversation to have to better understand why you might be feeling the things you feel from day to day, why you feel certain ways around certain people and how to just have greater compassion for yourself and others in the world when it comes to navigating the emotional landscape within us.
Karrie: This is a really important topic because I did not fully understand how different these two groups of people can be. I was listening to a podcast with Jenna Zoe. She has the Human Design Podcast. And she did an episode with her podcast partner, Taylor, [00:02:00] about emotionals versus non-emotionals. And like us, Dominique, one of them is emotional, one is non-emotional. Jenna was saying that the difference between emotionals and non-emotionals in Human Design is as equally important and significant as the difference between males and females. So how in general, we think men process things a certain way and women process differently or that sort of thing, and that the way we experience the world and emotions in general is very, very different.
Dominique: Absolutely. I remember listening to that episode. I thought it was fantastic. I first want to start off by saying, yes, we're talking about Human Design today and the chart. However, Human Design, just like any personality system or tool we talk about here is not a labeling tool or system. There's so much that goes into being a soul in a [00:03:00] human body in this lifetime, and there's a lot that you cannot explain about it. Yes, your body graph will show the energy that you are bringing into this world, but it does not explain life experiences. It does not explain fully conditioning. So, as you're listening to this episode, take what you like, leave the rest, but I just want to invite our listeners to also keep an open mind when it comes to the information that we're sharing here in today's episode. Let's start off by talking a little bit what the difference is. about being an emotional versus a non-emotional. If you have your body graph, I would say pull it out. If you aren't already familiar with your type, if you don't have your body graph, you can grab yours for free with the link down below in the show notes. If you look at your graph, you'll see on the bottom right hand side, there's a shape that is going to be either colored in [00:04:00] or white. If it's colored in, that means you are an emotional and that center is your emotional solar plexus. This is the center where we carry creativity. This is a center for faith as well as relationship energy. It's a beautiful center for what it is to create as human beings and how we can use our emotions to really build the life of our dreams. With an emotional definition, that is going to mean that you have this internal state of emotions, and they may change from day to day, hour to hour, but internally you have these waves of energy that flow through you and change the way you may be feeling. When it comes to, you, Karrie, I think it's just really fun when we were talking about it before to hear a little bit more about what it felt [00:05:00] like to be an emotional, because I'm non-emotional. I don't have any experience with that feeling of having my own source, and so it's something where I'd love for you to share a little bit as an emotional, you can have like these changes from day to day and moment to moment and more of an internal state. Are you able to share what that feels like for you a little bit?
Karrie: Yeah, definitely. Again, I think I said this in the other episode, until you realize not everyone experiences it the same as you, it's sort of mind blowing to realize not everyone lives like this. I would say, and we'll get a little bit more into this in the episode, because I have a more subtle emotional wave, that I don't have really volatile emotional spikes or anything like that, and I tend to be pretty even keeled. But I definitely throughout the day have ups and downs and I can wake up in a really low blue mood and have no idea why. I am [00:06:00] learning, I'm still in the process of learning this. I can either continue down that path and allow it to just sort of sink me down the rest of the day, or I can do something to try to shift that energy in some way, whether it's just sitting with the mood and allowing it to be and flow or listening to something really inspiring like a podcast or music I really love and dance around. I don't know if this is accurate, if there's ways you can change your emotional state by doing physical things, but I have found that has helped me, sometimes, shift through those more downer emotions that I don't really want to be feeling and that might impede the rest of my day.
Dominique: Yeah, that's beautiful because yes, what you're explaining is exactly how you want to be moving the emotions through your system because emotions, they're just energy. It's not defining you. It is an experience that you're having and just like all energy, it needs to be [00:07:00] moved. With you sharing that sometimes you'll just sit with it and feel with it, that's a really important part as well, not to blame it or shame it or try to push it away because then that's when we get stuck with the discomfort. That's a really important part when it comes to the emotional solar plexus and understanding that you are an emotional being, that these emotions do not define you. They are a part of your experience and your creativity. Like you were saying, you'll get up and you'll dance and you'll move your body. That's a form of creativity. That's a form of play and that's moving the energy in a very healthy way through your system. It's one of these areas though, that as an emotional, you can get so stuck in judging yourself for feeling a certain way one day and then totally different the next day, when this is just simple, creative energy. And if we can wrap our minds around that, that it does not mean there's anything wrong with you. It [00:08:00] means that this is your experience within your body and how you are going to be making more aligned decisions for yourself based off of how certain things make you feel. I think that's such a beautiful thing and something that I can certainly understand, but I don't have that exact feel and that sense being a non-emotional. I'll get into what a non-emotional is at this point too. So I have an open a white emotional solar plexus. That means that anyone who is a non-emotional with an open center, extremely empathetic. Now, I'm not going to say you're the only one that's empathetic, because there's other areas of the chart that can bring that on, even if you are an emotional, but that is one of the key points: you are absorbing other people's emotional energy and amplifying it so you can feel things [00:09:00] much more strongly. Emotional swings, the highs, the lows, much more strongly than someone who has a defined emotional solar plexus. People who are non-emotional or undefined can oftentimes feel very uncomfortable with emotions because they're so overwhelming, because we amplify them. We may have the tendency, and this is something that was present for me, the tendency to need to please people because you don't want to rock the boat. You tiptoe around things because you don't want to stir the pot. You don't want to create any chaos or anger or frustration. At the same time though, you may express the emotions in a very dramatic way. You may act out. It all depends on what your system is telling you it needs to do in order to move the energy. For me, I was at the other end where I just made sure that I pleased [00:10:00] everyone else, so I didn't create any drama or chaos. I was very fearful of confrontation. At the same time, though, like everything in the human experience and in the chart, there's a scale that we work off of. There's the high end. There's the low end. So you could be overly dramatic or you could be almost apathetic and shut down. I think the important part, if, you are a non-emotional and listening to this, is to ask yourself, is this my energy? So when you're around others and you feel a shift in your energetic state, your natural state of being, that's a sign right there that something in your environment is taking hold. This is where we are meant to become wise, as we have an open center. Any center that is open, this is where we gain wisdom, and we learn about that energy. We're here as non-emotionals to be wise about emotional [00:11:00] energy. We can ask ourselves, is this my energy? If not, then being able to recognize that and say, okay, I can let this be here for now if it's sadness, and I'm feeling it so deeply because I'm helping a friend to process something that they're grieving. That happens to me a lot when I work with my patients in the clinic in physical therapy. I can't tell you how many times, Karrie, I've actually started crying while my patient wasn't even crying. They were just upset. I was the one crying. But that's where I really have to be aware and ask myself, can I just sit with this for now and just allow it to be? Then from there releasing it because it's not yours to keep. That's the big difference between non-emotional and emotional is that internal state. I think I mentioned in a couple episodes ago, Karrie, I wake up in the morning and I'm like, okay, starting the day always in this neutral state, and it doesn't change for me until I get out into the world, [00:12:00] into the environment, around people. It's a very neutral feeling for me when I'm on my own and I know you were mentioning that you had no idea what that felt like.
Karrie: Well, and correct me if I'm wrong, if you have a defined emotional solar plexus, you automatically are an emotional authority.
Dominique: Yes.
Karrie: Correct?
Dominique: Yes.
Karrie: So that's why it's so important for people who are emotionals, who have that definition, to get in touch with their own emotional wave, their own flow of emotions, because it really is there to help guide you, to help you know what decision to make, what direction to take, what is the best path for you, because this is all coming from your body, so it's that body wisdom over the mental conversation that we tend to have when we try to make decisions, which can, a lot of times, lead a lot of us to just feel more confused.
Dominique: Yeah, and I love that you bring that up because the whole point of Human Design is to teach you how to get back into your body and to not [00:13:00] allow your mind chatter to run the show, because it's a meaning-making machine, whereas the body holds so much truth and knowing of what is best for us. Actually, as emotionals, Ra Uru Hu, who is the gentleman who received the information for Human Design, he says, there is no truth in the now, truth reveals itself over time. So as a non-emotional, waiting to make decisions is extremely important. This is the highlight here right now for emotional beings. If you have emotional definition, the best way for you to make aligned, correct decisions for yourself is to wait. This is the hardest thing for us to do, because we are so used to wanting instant gratification, getting things done in a quick, timely manner, and being so incredibly impatient. This is easily a very challenging thing. You [00:14:00] mentioned, Karrie, about your emotional wave. There are three types of emotional waves, and it's It's going to depend on what channels or channel you have defined in your chart. There's an emotional wave like Karrie's that has small undulating waves, so you may not notice massive shifts in your moods. You might feel them more gently. Oftentimes it takes a good cry or good yell into a pillow or something to move the energy and reset yourself. Whereas the other waves are a little bit more drastic for the changes. There's high highs, low lows, and then there's a wave where it's kind of like a train going uphill. You're doing great, great, great. And then you plummet and then you start the process all over again. All of these waves require time because if you are presented with an opportunity and your body is just giving you a yes, this feels so good, you being an [00:15:00] emotional being are going to benefit from waiting out your emotional wave before you commit to that thing. So if one day you're presented with an opportunity, Karrie, and you're like, this feels so great, what would benefit you most is for you to wait through your cycle, the emotional cycle. This is very different for everyone. Some people, it might take a day or a few days, others that might take a few weeks. There's no way to say your emotional wave is going to take this long. The only way to know it is by tracking it yourself, day to day for at least three weeks. If you sit with it, and then the next day you check in with yourself and feel, is this still a yes, and it is, giving it a day or two, making sure that yes is consistent. That's the crucial point there. You can't be yes one day and then like, hmm, I don't know the next day, because then if you commit to this thing, that's the exact energy that you're bringing into the commitment. You're going to be all over the place. You're going to be like, yes, one [00:16:00] day, and then not into it another day. Then that zaps your energy, and it's not a fulfilling place to be. If you can imagine with relationships, entering into relationships and not waiting and feeling it out, that can be a really tricky and sticky place to be. When you commit to something doesn't have to be a relationship. It can be a job as well, and then suddenly realize, oh man, I was just at a high point in my wave when I felt this yes the other day. Now it's like a big no and I'm stuck. Now I'm in this job or relationship or whatever it might be, and it's going to be uncomfortable getting out. So that's where regret can sometimes come into play. The theme of it. Wait, find the truth in the waiting process and learn more about your own wave by tracking your moods daily for at least three weeks in order to know how long these waves might last for you.
Karrie: I wanted to highlight one other [00:17:00] thing related to this that Jenna Zoe talked about in her podcast because to me, it was so powerful and impactful, so I just wanted to say it for our listeners to also hear in case they don't listen to her podcast. They gave advice for the most important thing for emotionals to remember along with the most important thing for non-emotionals to remember. So, for emotionals, they said it's super important not to question, analyze, or judge your emotional wave. Don't try to figure out why it's happening or why you're feeling the way you're feeling. Just allow it and have compassion for yourself through it. This has been really important for me because I always used to analyze and figure out why am I feeling this way? I had a great day yesterday. Why am I feeling down this morning and kind of beating myself up about my emotional state that I had no right to be feeling this way. And then for non-emotionals, Dominique will probably talk a little bit more about this because that is an [00:18:00] open center, that means, like she has said earlier, people with non-emotional non-definition in their chart absorb all the emotions of all the emotional people out there, which Dominique has told us before is 50 percent of the population. So non-emotional people need to understand that their emotions are not theirs to hold on to and find your own best strategies in order to learn to let go of and clear out these emotions that you've picked up and amplified within yourself.
Dominique: Absolutely. Oh, I love that you bring that up because especially for the emotionals. I have a lot of emotionals in my life and that was very chaotic for me for a while, but now I have a better understanding of them and I can't tell you how much appreciation, how much more appreciation I have for them by better understanding how their emotional wave works and not wonder, what's wrong with them today or why are they acting like this? I can look at it now and be like, they're in their [00:19:00] creative state right now. They're in one of the lows and that is just fuel for creativity. They're not going to be stuck there. They're moving through it up and in it and it's a beautiful process to watch as an outsider looking in and also helping them better understand that the emotions aren't defining them. It's just something that they're meant to feel and grow and learn from. I think it's really an important thing when it comes to having more compassion for one another and learning to love ourselves more. It's not a bad thing. It's not a good thing. It's a nothing. It's neutral. These emotions that we experience are neutral until we put meaning to it, and we've talked about that before. Also watching the language that we use with ourselves. Like, Oh, come on. Why am I doing this again? Why am I feeling this again? I should be able to do better or whatever it might be. And it's like, [00:20:00] no, this is a beautiful part of you, and it's allowing you to experience the full human experience. It's something to really embrace, and if we can start looking at it that way, then we can really start to spread a lot more compassion for one another all throughout.
Karrie: I love that you brought up the neutrality of how emotions and feelings are neutral things, but we as humans have attached meaning, categorizing them as good or bad because it connects directly to an aspect of the Enneagram that has always sort of bugged me, and that is each Enneagram type has a core weakness or sometimes it's referred to as a vice, but this language automatically makes us think it's a negative thing. A lot of these core weaknesses, quote unquote, are different emotions. So, example, for Type 1, the core weakness is anger. Type 1s tend to view anger very negatively. They think it's a bad emotion to experience, so they repress it. And it can come out looking [00:21:00] very much like resentment and judgment and things like that because they don't want to express their anger. For Type 9, it is sloth or sleepwalking. That's your type, Dominique. Which isn't maybe as much of an emotion, but I'm sure is attached to an emotional state. For Type 6, it's anxiety. For Type 2, it's pride. So there's all of these different weaknesses, but really they're attached to emotions.
Dominique: Yeah, yeah. Like we have been saying, they're neutral. That's where, especially for a lot of women, the expression of anger, I have heard many women share that it's a difficult one for them to express because they feel that it's not healthy. I'm sure that goes along with men too, that have been repressed and not have been able to express it in a healthy way as children, then it comes out in very unhealthy ways later on as adults. And that's anything that we are repressing. If we can just understand that, again, none of this [00:22:00] defines us. It doesn't mean we're good or bad or anything. It just means it is energy that we're experiencing. We're not clinging to it, almost like you're watching the clouds float by. You're like, oh, there it is. And it's just floating by, and that's it. If we can allow that to happen, we can process very uncomfortable emotions pretty quickly within 60 to 90 seconds. Then our bodies rid that uncomfortable energy. It's one of these things where it's all about understanding our language really has a big role in it as well. Like I said, if you're judging yourself for feeling a certain way, that shifts the frequency within what you're creating as well. Because we are creative beings, we're attracting experiences into our lives based off of our emotional state. I think it's something that it's really important to be mindful of when we are in that place of judgment and to pause. Just like you, [00:23:00] Karrie, it took a while for you to get comfortable with not judging yourself on the emotions. So anybody who's new to this, it's a process of putting a scratch on the record and creating a new pattern. So if you catch yourself wanting to judge yourself, pause. Say, nope. I can just sit here. I can be with it, and not make a story out of it.
Karrie: And not only having that compassion for ourselves, which is so important, but also remembering to have compassion for others because unless you know someone else's chart, maybe someone close in your life and you would know that, but a person you see having a difficult time out in public or behaving in a certain way, you don't know if they're emotional versus non-emotional. You don't know what maybe has triggered this in them and just to try to have a sense of compassion that they may process and experience emotions completely differently than you do. So maybe something happened where you think I wouldn't react that way or I wouldn't have this big explosion, and that person has a completely [00:24:00] different internal landscape than you do as well as a whole different life outside of themselves. That has really helped me because like I've said in the past, I always just thought everyone thought how I did and functioned how I did. But reminding myself of that every day, really, with different encounters with various people has been really, really helpful.
Dominique: That's awesome to bring that up. And the nervous system is linked to the emotional solar plexus. So yes, we don't know how other people are going to react. We may say something that we have the best intentions of and it could be triggering for somebody. We can't control all of this, but we can certainly just do the best we can with controlling our own internal state, and also realizing that when it comes to other people, we're just seeing the tip of the iceberg for what they are showing. They have their own internal state that they are struggling with or are trying to manage as best as possible. We're all in the same boat. We are all in it together, so [00:25:00] if we can work within ourselves, bring that place of inner peace and stability within ourselves, then that is energy we're putting out to others. In a way we're modeling what it is to healthfully express emotions to say, it's okay that you're having a bad day. It happens. And to also show people that it's safe to be who you are. It's okay to be who you are. It's okay to show all these emotions. Come join the party, kind of thing. It becomes addictive, at least for me. When I see someone being full, honest and authentic, I'm like, yeah, I want some of that. I want to do more of that, and it becomes this domino effect.
Karrie: Hey there, friend. Have you signed up for the Awakend and Alive newsletter yet? If not, we want to invite you to get on the list so you don't miss out on the exciting new offerings we have planned for 2024.
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Karrie: Dominique, do you have any ideas or tips for how people can release that emotional energy that they've collected throughout the day, and maybe they just don't know how to move it through.
Dominique: Yeah, as a non-emotional, I think it's really important to understand that breaking aura from others is going to be an important part. So being in your own space. That could be for 10, 15 minutes. That's enough to kind of reset your system, reset your nervous system and find that inner calm again. Also, I love to get out in nature. Nature's kind of like a natural reset button for the nervous system and for moving energy. Taking a shower or a bath. I often take baths in the evenings, especially after working at the clinic, being around people all day long. It's a [00:27:00] cleansing of my system. And lying down. The way the energy moves through our bodies is very different. When we're lying down, we're able to express the energy to kind of recycle the energy more efficiently. So if you were to lie down for 15 to 30 minutes, that's another wonderful way. I think it's really important to note, if you're a non-emotional, it is not the responsibility of others in your life to make you feel more comfortable. If you have emotionals in your life, it's not their responsibility and I'm saying this because I came from this place where I was like, how can I tell someone who's emotional that they're really affecting my energy and my moods here? That is 100 percent my responsibility. It is something that I think is really important to be aware of because with Human Design, I've seen people make excuses and say, Oh, well, I can't do this because I'm this. Again, a labeling type of system. This is all [00:28:00] choice. You get to choose how you want to experience emotions, especially with an open center, because you are here to be extremely wise about it. So it is fully your responsibility. No one else's.
Karrie: And for emotionals, like we said earlier, just to recap, if you are in some level of emotional state that you are judging or you don't want to be in, the best thing to do is just to try to sit with it and allow it to move through you without questioning it, without wondering what's going on, which I know is a lot easier said than done, speaking from experience. But just sit and observe it, like Dominique said, like watching the clouds go by, observe these emotions, get curious that they're there, what they might be telling you, not why they're there, but what messages they could be bringing to you. If that doesn't help, I have found, at least for myself, moving my body in some way usually helps a little bit, if not a lot. So for me, my preference of movement is [00:29:00] yoga or taking a walk, but whatever works for you. Some people love running, some people love swimming. Just getting your body moving can really at least for me, help get my mind not turned off, but a little less active, and that emotional state usually calms down a little bit. Or breathing exercises. So deep breathing. Focusing on the breath is another way, if the emotions just feel too much, and you don't even want to engage with them or focus on them, just closing your eyes and really just doing that even exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale with pauses between really has helped me as well.
Dominique: Those are beautiful practices. Just again, nervous system regulation techniques to help you process the energy in a more easy and peaceful manner. I love that you bring those up because I know we've talked about those in other episodes. Overall, whether you're an emotional being or a non-emotional being, this [00:30:00] center, the emotional solar plexus, this is our center for creativity. This is the center that helps to guide us in what we're creating in our lives because of how it calibrates the heart. Our emotions calibrate the state of our heart's coherence. We've said this many times in episodes, but we come from love, and we're here to share love. If we can fully accept what it is to be human and experience all the emotions that go with it, then we can start to radiate even more love.
Karrie: Thank you for listening to this episode. Your support is so appreciated.
Dominique: If you'd like to have a question answered about your Human Design or Enneagram type in a future episode, you can submit it through the link in the show notes. We'd love to hear from [00:31:00] you.
